Christian Sex Therapy
We believe that the sexual connection is one of the primary benefits of a committed marriage. As such, we believe that all married couples should and can enjoy their sexual intimacy.
Fewer conflicts about sex
Great enjoyment of sex
Help for sexual dysfunction
Sex therapy is a form of pyshotherapy that foucuses on a couple’s sexual intimacy. At Fully Well, we believe that the most success comes from focusing not only on the actual physical connection, but the emotional connection as well. In this way, couples can have a deeply connected relationship that helps them both feel loved and cared for.
We’re very aware that lack of education, traumatic experiences in the past, disappointments in your current relationship, and not feeling like you can talk to anyone about sex, all play a significant role in why some couples feel like they search for help for years only to remain disappointed.
We truly believe that a healthy and fulfilling sex life is one of the ways that married Christians can be reminded of the goodness of God. And, we believe that working to improve your sexual relationship requires a bit of vulnerability and sacrifice; both characteristics that God honors.
Since I know that information about Christian sex therapy is quite difficult to find, I thought it would be helpful to explain the basic process here.
The DEC-R Model
The process of sex therapy can be explained through the acronym, DEC-R: Dialogue, Education, Coaching, and Referral. It’s important to note that this isn’t a linear process. You’ll likely notice that we move from one domain to the next quite fluidly, going back and forth through these stages until you’ve finished the process of therapy.
We partner with you to make the entire process of talking about sexual issues easier. Research has shown that most people find it quite difficult to share their concerns or disappointment about their sexual lives with their spouse. In fact, this can be so painful for couples, that some couples will remain unhappy in their sex life for years before they decide to tell their spouse they should work on things. Fully Well helps you create a safe place to speak about sex.
As we create that safe space for exploration of sexual topics, we also set up boundaries. There are proper and holy ways to talk about the gift of sex. Front and center of our conversations will be Christ and a respect for the boundaries we have in Scripture. We will not talk about sexual issues or concerns in a voyeuristic manner. Instead, remember that as we talk we are also working in a sacred space.
The education portion of this model has to do with education from both a biological perspective and a spiritual perspective. Many times, couples come to therapy with little understanding of their physical bodies, how the reproductive system works, the love-making cycle, or the differences between a man’s and a woman’s sexual response cycle. Add to that the fact that few churches speak on sex (outside of ‘don’t before marriage’ and ‘do after’), few couples understand God’s design for sex. We’ll spend quite a bit of time just focusing on God’s design for sex and learning what Scripture teaches. And, we’ll also talk about actual practical skills regarding intimacy.
When a couple comes for sex therapy, they’ve often already spent more than a few hours searching the internet for advice and tips for a better sex life. They may have also bought a few books and tried to work through some exercises on their own.
But typically, couples need a bit more explanation than can be found on a popular blog or a research article. They need someone to teach them certain exercises or help them to understand the purpose in implementing new behaviors. In other words, couples often have some skills, but are having some difficulty truly committing themselves to improvement. We will walk along beside you as a coach – training you and encouraging you.
You can just about guarantee that if you come to counseling you’ll receive some type of referral. Sometimes this is a referral for a doctor, psychiatrist, urologist, gynecologist, or even your PCP. We’re going to make sure that if there are any physical or emotional issues for you that we are taking care of that while we work directly on the sexual relationship. Part of sex therapy is treating the entire person, so referrals are an integral part of the process.
Hopefully, in reading this you’ve learned that sex therapy doesn’t have to be scary or intimidating process. If you’re finding that online searches haven’t been helpful enough for you to work on the sexual issues in your marriage (dissatisfaction, different levels of sexual desire, affair recovery), it just may be time for you to seek out more help.
If you believe you may be a good fit for sex therapy and you are interested in making an appointment, I’d be happy to answer any questions you have during our free 20-minute consultation. We’ll also determine together if we would be a good fit for working together.
Whatever you decide, my prayer is that God will bless you, your marriage, and your sex life!
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