I recently finished the book, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less. It’s such a great book that I’m going through it a second time. While the concepts in the book are most likely to be embraced as a way to work less and achieve more, the author makes it clear that his concept of living and working only for the essential things in life applies to all areas of one’s existence.

What’s essentialism have to do with marriage?

There are some incredible parallels that can be made regarding marriage. My favorite is directly linked the to the author’s main idea. He believes that entrepreneurs can have success when they focus on the right thing instead of trying to accomplish everything. I can’t even begin to count the number of couples I’ve worked with that come to session wanting to work on ALL of the problems that they have. Often, I’ll tell the couple that we need to focus on one issue – the one that is most important.

But, for many couples, everything is incredibly important. How do you know what to start with?

Do you work on communication? How about conflict resolution? Maybe building your friendship or your intimate lives is priority?

Figuring out the “big picture” is an important part of having an essential lifestyle. In marriage, solving the main problem is key to achieving success or meeting your marriage goals, whatever they may be.

Here’s the key to figuring out the big picture when you’re struggling in your marriage.

In the video below, I share my thoughts on creating an environment of success by working on the most important marriage issue first.

[youtube id=”WS1X9XT3P84″]


Question: Going back to the burner illustration, do you need to turn up the marriage burner and turn off one of the others temporarily? What step will you take to make that happen?